On the green chair during night skiing at the hill
Life up on the mountain has certainly bloomed into an amazing opportunity for me to connect, celebrate and tune into myself, my body and the our growing baby. Most days I enjoy the luxury of sleeping as much as I need, which turns out to be quite a lot! I rarely roll out of bed before the crack of 10am (although the alarm is set for 8:30 it promptly gets turned off if its not a turn-over day) and I often nap for up to 2 hours at some point during the day before heading back to bed around 11pm. Every morning, as soon as I have eaten (I am ravenous by the time I wake up) I treat myself to a head-to-toe self massage with sweet almond oil and hemp lotion. This not only feels great but has the added perk of making my skin soft and silky! Once I am all greased up I am ready for a gentle and slow yoga session that usually lasts some time between an hour and an hour and a half. As amazing as the yoga feels the meditation/quiet reflection time/nap that I do right afterward is equally enjoyable and a highlight of my day! Since I am not suppose to lay flat on my back in Savasana (or Corpse pose -commonly used at the end of a yoga session for a closing meditation), I instead lay back in to a modified Supta Baddha Konasana (or reclined bound angle pose - soles of the feet together with heels close the pelvis) onto pillows propped up against the couch. With extra cushions placed under each knee and a pillow to cradle my neck and head, this pose is heavenly and it has some great benefits too! It stimulates abdominal organs (ovaries and prostate {if I had one} gland, bladder, and kidneys), improves general circulation, stretches the inner thighs, groins, and knees, best of all -consistent practice of this pose until late into pregnancy is said to help ease childbirth! If I can manage to stay awake this is a great chance to practice meditation or just connect with baby and work on enforcing a positive pregnancy and birthing image in my mind.
The rest of my day trucks along at a similar relaxed pace with a lot of eating, drinking teas (going pee) and usually some other form of exercise like walking or xc skiing. I am really grateful that I do have this opportunity to really take some personal time. It was a hard adjustment at first and now I think I will really miss the peace and solitude of these days to myself. I definitely have many friends and family to thank for their words of inspiration to help me find this path! I am very happy and am feeling great.
I dont remember what Paul was saying to me when he took this photo, but that is some look on my face...
I'm still not huge yet, but I have out grown my stretchy pants!
With all the time to reflect and think about the baby I have started to put together a birthing plan and think about how (ideally) I would like to see things go. Now, I have to say I not only plan on giving birth non-conventionally, but am doing my best to think about it non-conventionally as well; I strongly believe that there is a lot of power in suggestion, environment and the energy that you surround yourself in. The imagery of birth in popular culture is one of unbearable pain where women scream as if this was the worst thing that ever happened to them. Combine this with the standard atmosphere of a hospital, where there is no privacy, constant interruptions and you are laid into a unnatural birthing position, it is no wonder that birth is seen and experienced as a traumatic, painful event! I seek to not fall into this trap.
My goal is to create and intimate, relaxed environment with minimal distractions, control pain naturally and have not only a momentous physical and emotional experience but a spiritual one as well. I am going to do this by going back to the basics; a unassisted home birth in water where the midwife is only there as a precautionary measure.
In early labor I have a whole list of things that I can do to ignore, rest and relax through this first stage; Sleeping (if I am tired) is probably going to be an interesting thing to try since I am sure I will be excited and anticipating whats to come, but it would be a great way to ensure I was rested fully. Mediation and yoga are a definate going-to-happen and with all the practice I have been getting, this should feel like the natural thing to do.! I can also knit, paint/draw, go for a walk, give a self-massage or have Paul give me one (probably both)!
As I progress into harder labor the midwife will be called, the birthing pool will be filled and I hope to try to focus inwards and listen to my body. We are fortunate that we have a team of four certified and experienced midwifes, which guarantees us that one of them will be on call and ready for when we need her. The choice to have a water birth seemed an obvious one to me; it promotes relaxation, allows for easy movement into what ever position feels comfortable, reduces pain and can even reduce the length of the labor. Practiced as commonly in Europe as what we see in North America as "the standard way to give birth" (on your back, your knees wide and up in the air with someone staring into your vagina) water births are safe for both mom and the baby and you cant argue the benefits. In addition to the birthing pool (usually a 3-ring kiddy pool) I hope to create a intimate setting - one similar to what you would have if you were to set the mood to make love; low light, candles, relaxing music and importantly an emphasis on intimacy between Paul and I with as little interruption and as much privacy as possible. When looking into birthing options I found many sources that promoted this idea of a intimate, romantic birth setting; They explained the benefits of being relaxed and comfortable as well as the similarities of birth to the act of sex - how both simulate the same places in your vagina as well as release the same hormones into your body. The practice of a "orgasmic birth" has the potential of simulating pleasure rather then pain from the birthing experience, and although this is not my "must have" goal, its certainly something to try for! You might be thinking, "Don't be idealistic/naive - It's just Not Possible - child birth is Painful!!" but I truly think it comes back to expectations, environment and energy; I like the comparison of trying to have a sex in the hospital setting used for birth; if you have people coming in ever few minutes to see how you're coming along (haha, bad pun), hooked up to monitors that are making all kinds of noises, you're wearing a not very comfortable gown and you're in a strange and not very comfortable environment -it would be hard to perform! Same goes with birth! On top of that when you THINK or you KNOW that it is going to be unbearably painful, then it will be. Say that, I am not discounting pain all together, but hope to rather use meditation as a way to experience the pain as something other then pain, and/or embrace it's purpose of bringing a child into the world. Its not going to be easy, and that's why I have started practicing already! I am actually really excited for my birthing experience and think about it several times a day.
After the baby is born, he/she will be placed on my chest and I hope to get as much uninterpreted bonding time with Paul and the baby for the next several hours and days. There is no routine separation between the mom and the baby in midwife care. This allows me to maximize some of the most powerful moments of bonding with my baby. In the days to come, expect that I will be asking for privacy to continue getting to know my baby, recovering and relaxing. We will call you and when I am ready to start seeing visitors we will let you know!
Thus is my birth plan so far. There is certainly a lot more baby stuff on my mind, but I have already ranted for long enough! I will save it for a later blog!
Very excited about the baby and loving life. Tomorrow is the 20 week ultrasound, I cant wait to see how big the baby is getting and for Paul to see the baby for the first time!
Peace, Love and Anarchy
Shy
